


Breaking the Rules - Law and Order

by Tarlan



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Challenge Response, Deliberate Badfic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-09-01
Updated: 2004-09-01
Packaged: 2017-10-19 23:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Breaking all the rules for Writers - Badfic Challenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking the Rules - Law and Order

"They has to be around here somewhere. You knows it. I knows it."

The man was not to be reckoned with. And neither was he willing to give in. Chris began to loudly snarl in anger. The man was playing to the crowd. Making many murmur miserably. The crowd of ten or fifteen, (maybe twenty or twenty-five), were no longer softly, quietly, (hushly) murmuring, voices growing loud. Out of control. Chris realised there weren't more than a dozen hotheads in the group and he shouldn't have much trouble if he acted toute suite. Though, vice versa, if he kept a calm air, a quiet atmosphere, and a tranquil peacefulness permeating that calm air and quiet atmosphere then tranquility would follow.

However, Chris had learned long ago that everyone loved to have a good fight, generally speaking.

The man was as crazy as a fox and Chris didn't not want to shoot him, but Mary, Mrs Potter, Yosemite, etc & all the other townsfolk might string him up for a murderer if he gave into that desire. Hell. Misery. Mayhem. Anger. That's what this man was causing as he carried on like a train on a single track with no turning point or siding in view.

Chris stared at the crowd that was being held back only by the fear of reprisal should violence erupt. Fear was, after all, quite necessary, for, if not, there would, be bloodshed.

A sudden clangorous sound erupting from the multitude filled the atmosphere!! The assemblage surveyed their surroundings completely stupified by the deprivation of the eleven judicious gentlemen.

Chris extracted his revolver and bombarded the air with a bullet, the single, tinny report that could barely be heard above the noise stunning the crowd insensible.

Chris twizzles and twirls the gun, only replacing it in it's holster when its no longer needed, standing tall and proud and defiant. The crowd fell silent for, as William Caxton said, 'there is a time of speaking and a time of being still'.

If he had told them once, he had told them a thousand times to disperse, then when it finally happened he turned on his heel and stalked into the saloon. Chris knocked back several shots of Red Eye in succession, feeling his world start to go muzzy around the edges, then paused as the inflammatory gentleman from the crowd appeared by his side.

"My apologies but I got a right to be sworn in - just like them... look, let me buy you a drink. What'll you have?"

Chris gave him a mean glance then relented.

"A whisky," he said with a 'rye' grin.

"Look, I'm sorry for all this but I know theyre not pushing up the daisies, I have to join these men."

"Look, you're treading in uncharted waters. I'd let it go if I were you. No-one wants to see anyone hurt."

The man looked at him cockeyed. Who did Larabee think he was? Who gave him the right to tell everyone what to do? He gave a sigh for the millionth time. Networking had never been his forte but he needed to two-way exchange if he was to get his point across, but he found, to his pleasure that Chris had finally relented.

"Okay, just don't tell them I told you, but the men you is in the restaurant getting a last supper before the trial."

The obnoxious man gave a satisfied grin and marched out to meet up with his fellow jurors.

THE END... thank God!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> _"Rules for Writers"  
>  1\. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.  
> 2\. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.  
> 3\. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.  
> 4\. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.  
> 5\. Avoid clich?s like the plague. (They're old hat.)  
> 6\. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.  
> 7\. Be more or less specific.  
> 8\. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are usually) unnecessary.  
> 9\. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.  
> 10\. No sentence fragments.  
> 11\. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.  
> 12\. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.  
> 13\. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.  
> 14\. One should **NEVER** generalize.  
>  15\. Comparisons are as bad as clich?s.  
> 16\. Don't use no double negatives.  
> 17\. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.  
> 18\. One-word sentences? Eliminate.  
> 19\. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.  
> 20\. The passive voice is to be ignored.  
> 21\. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.  
> 22\. Never use a big word when substituting a diminutive one would suffice.  
> 23\. Kill all exclamation points!!!  
> 24\. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.  
> 25\. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.  
> 26\. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.  
> 27\. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."  
> 28\. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.  
> 29\. Puns are for children, not groan readers.  
> 30\. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.  
> 31\. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.  
> 32\. Who needs rhetorical questions?  
> 33\. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.  
> 34\. Avoid "buzz-words"; such integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic matters.  
> 35\. And finally... Proofread carefully to see if you any words out._
> 
> _I know I'm gonna regret this, especially if Tarlan picks up the gauntlet, but can anyone break all these rules within the confines of one story? Rita_
> 
> _***_
> 
> _Well... broken them all... in order... are you feeling regretful? :-)_


End file.
